Day 16

Yoga was great today, I can feel my body getting stronger. I think that the motions are getting easier, but my legs don't like to move from under me! I get stuck when I try to go from Downward Dog to Crescent Lung. When I was in resting pose; I started to think about some of the things from my past that caused me to become addicted to food, and the television. I started to think about being left at home by myself after school, and feeling like I was never good enough to have friends, or to go even deeper, to have my dad around. I have forgiven him for things that he isn't aware that he did, and I am past that, but maybe I am still holding on to those feelings of loneliness. I have to let it go, I don't need that feeling anymore. I am ready to move on.
I think that I could use a 'sacred space' for myself. Somewhere I can go to meditate, or just be with my own thoughts. I am always surrounded by noise, and people. I love my people, but I could use a break now and again. I used to write music all of the time, the creativity just flowed out of my mind. Since I had my son five years ago, I haven't writing anything. I have just been so busy, or when I do have time to myself, I spend it spacing out. I need to tap into my creativity again. I want to write my own songs, or even just poetry again. I feel like I have lost a lot of myself in the last few years. I really enjoy singing, dancing, and listening to music, but I just feel like I don't have as much of it in my life as I would like.
So in this reinvention of myself, I need to bring a little of the 'old' Melodie back.